Sunday, 2 January 2011

Preparing for D-Day...

Hey there folks! As D-Day approaches, I have decided to post my invasion plans online for all of you to laugh over. So lets get started!

1. Sell all my crap

This is harder than it seems, but still an essential component of my invasion plans! It also is a good way to make some extra cash for my war funds, so please if you still feel like helping out then check through my list online and donate to a good cause!

2. Get a lot of shit paper work done

This is really boring stuff, They (The student visa guys) want me to give all my family details and history to make sure none of us would accidentally find ourselves over there working for pennies or something. There was the whole thing with me trying to prove that I can speak English, but it wasn't that big of a problem anymore when I "convinced" them that I actually spoke English. Surprisingly they haven't asked for my medical records yet, but I guess it's because Australia is where monsters are born. So nature will most likely either assimilate me into the food chain or just dispose of me in some sort of economical fashion before I can spread any unwanted diseases.


3. Relax

Yeah, right...

4. D-Day, the invasion begins!

Finally... The day of days. My departure! I leave Finland on 3.2.11 arriving at London three hours later. I'll make my way through London Heathrow, bestowing my blessings upon everyone and then take my next flight to Abu Dhabi, the supposed New York of the Middle East. From there, it is a direct flight to Brisbane with a technical stop over to refuel at Singapore, before we continue to Brisbane. Now, the airline I'll be using is Etihad.

 
Yes, we fly on the cheap 'cause... You know, fuck rich people.

"Eti-whaa?" I hear you ask, because that's what I thought first as well. When the lady who was booking my flights mentioned the airline, images of sheep and chickens flying freight with its windows open filled my head. Thankfully I was wrong. Etihad is an United Arab Emirates airline that is renowned around the world for its first class service and excellent everything! Three course meals with wine, 600+ hours of entertainment, Internet, laptop recharging, frikkin mood lighting! MOOD LIGHTING! And all this is in Economy! I'm more exited to jump on that plane then going to Brisbane!

 If this is economy...

I suppose this is First Class... Waaait... Is that a stripper pole?!

5. Celebration!

I will hopefully finally make it to Brisbane where I will meet my contacts and begin preparing for the liberation of its people. I will party, relax, take pictures of koala bears while I sip Pina Coladas and riding kangaroos.

Aaaaw... :(

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