Things to know about Australia

Alright,
I've been studying Australia for quite some time now and I thought I could share some knowledge of the Land Down Unda. Theres an aweful lot to know about it too. For instance, the capital of Australia is Canberra. It is the largest island nation in the world. It had giant eagles that could pluck you off the ground about 500 years ago. Ok, thats in New Zealand, but with a wingspan that large I wouldn't be suprised if they flew over once in a while for a snack.

 

 "Oh Jesus Christ!"

Also with what Men at Work have sung about, I can deduce that the local population eat vegemite sandwiches, the beer flows and men plunder. Not to mention the thunder... 

I need to pack my umbrella... And my body armor...

Then there is Australia's nature! I mean wow! The great barrier reef is one of the largest reef systems in the world, with countless species of fish and other sea life. The outback is home to some of the most bizzare creatures ever to grace the surface of the planet! And all cute too! Kangaroos, Koalas, the Platypus and the wombat!

Awww, look at that little guy!

I mean look at him... Just give it a minute... Can't you just see those things roaming free, happily scampering about their little lives as people smile and feed them fresh fruit? I sure can! 

But then reality hits me and I realise that Australia also houses some of the most horrifying shit nature ever decided to cram into one island. Just read this article!

No wait... HOLY  SHIT! Aaargh!

So yeah its pretty much like Pandora. Sydney funnel web spiders, killer octopi, killer snakes, killer everything. It's like the place was designed so that everything wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes! Hell, the place IS Pandora! So I guess I gotta do exactly what they do in the movie. Go native.

"Heheh yeah! This is great! I... Wait, did you say I'm BLUE?!"

And so it begins...

Well...

I'm assuming most of you have heard by now that I was once again laid off from work. That makes it 4 times in row. In a span of 12 months. Due to no fault of my own. So... If its not my fault I got the shaft, then all I can assume is that there's something wrong here in Finland, since all these companies don't seem to have the funds to pay my salary. So, I'm going.

Here...

That's right kids... I'm off to AUSTRALIA! This has been a long time coming and all of you who've heard me rant on about it can rest easy now. Now to be more specific, I'll be aiming to head to Brisbane. The Paradise of Australia! To do what I hear you ask... To study! Film! Yes! Well hopefully...

See, for quite some time now, I've been having this feeling in my gut that I got to leave this country. I don't know what it is, but just this feeling that I gotta see the world! I need to get out of here lest I end up old and decrepit in some sleazy bar, telling passers by that I could have done something with my life... No. This is my chance to get the hell out, do something I can be proud of. And hell, get some sun while I'm at it!

I mean look at this shit...

The snow in Finland is ridiculous. Ok, sure. We didn't get snow for about three years, but then when it finally decides to fall it turns biblical. Like god decided one day, "HAH! I'll cover the bastards in snow! Let's see them get out of this one." Hell, I'm still waiting for the official announcement that the ice age has started. Not only that, you'd think that a country that prides itself for housing and taking care of Santa Clause would bloody know how to maintain its infrasutructure and public transport system. But nope. We got pipes exploding, massive floodings, ice falling and killing people in the streets, busses catching fire, trams freezing in place on the streets and trains derailing and crashing into hotels 20 friggin feet above the tracks! So I thought, "Hey, Australia couldn't be further away before you start heading back!" It also has the added benefit of having a booming film industry, beautiful weather, nice people and pretty much awesome surfing. There seemed to be nothing stopping me from going there!

Well... Perhaps this thing...

So, now we come to the purpose of this whole thing... The reason why I'm ranting here like a lunatic. I'm going to chronicle my whole adventure! From starting out the process of going there. To actually being there. At some point, this written blog will turn into a video blog. but for now, you're gonna have to read all this!

Finally... This is it. Here we go... See you next time kids... See you in the slipstream...